do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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