Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
