i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
