Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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