So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
