We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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