I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
