Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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