didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
