...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
