i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
