saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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