I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
