The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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