you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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