He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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