Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
