More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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