I just saw a hot homeless man
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
