Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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