my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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