Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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