Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
