Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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