she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Sponge bath it is.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
PANTIES FOUND
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