What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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