We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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