one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
