C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You've changed since you got that strap on
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
