i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
