check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
