I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
