I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
