moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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