I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
