He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
