You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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