I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
