is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
