I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
