I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Randomize
