he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
