she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
