New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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