Got a toothbrush?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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