I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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