I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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