make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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