Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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