I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
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