He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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