i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
