Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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