Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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