hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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