i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
