I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize