She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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